In this post, I’m going to share with you 7 helpful advice for how to fix a broken marriage and saving your relationship. There may be more tips out there, but these tips are among the most important advice. But no matter how many advice you get, the point is that you need to take action, taking the right action suggested in the tip. That’s the only way saving your marriage.
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happily ever after…”
You may have heard the saying above before, right? But is this all trure?
Not quite…it’s true that couples relax a bit after they’ve said their vows and tied the knot. The reality is that they may also find themselves puzzled if their fairy tale starts slipping.
Many people think marriage is about marrying the right person. So when things start to go wrong they begin to worry that they’ve accidently married the wrong person. Although you do want to marriage someone you are compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it has to do with doing the right things with the person you married.
In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress. If your marriage seems to be rocky, try these tips to restore the happy connect that made you say “I do” in the first place.
Whether your spouse has told you that they’ve no longer happy, or you’re simple suspecting that they may soon calls it. Then here are some marriage advice for you to fix & save your broken marriage.
Getting marriage is a easier part. But when things go wrong and many individuals wanting to save their marriage relationship, a common belief in their mind is that that one spouse cannot save a marriage alone. However, there are many marriage saved when one of the partners takes actions, even if the other has refused to keep trying.
Now, here are the 7 ways or advices to fix & save a broken marriage on your own.
TIP 1: Analyze yourself
The first advice for saving your marriage is all about considering yourself, your behavior, action and reaction in your marriage.
A common assumption is that it takes both partners to save their marriage. This seems reasonable. But it just isn’t true. Unless your spouse has truly and completely given up on the relationship, it is possible for you to make sufficient changes to save your marriage on your own.
Perhaps not immediately, but over time it is inevitable the unhappy partner will notice the positive change in your behavior add will respond to it. Whether you know or not, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus, a response pattern if you will. This means that when you do or say something, the stimulus and your partner reacts, and then you react to their reaction, and so on. The same thing occurs when your partner says or does something. The two of you have built up a pattern of habitual actions add reactions over time.
Since a couple is comprised of two individuals, the change of behavior in on person will have an impact on the other, and therefore the entire relationship. When the stimulus changes, there will be a new and different response. That new response will elicit another new and different response. If this happens enough, a new pattern of behavior will emerge. Assuming the actions and reactions are positive, the relationship takes a positive turn. For example, if you have developed a habit of being disrespectful towards your spouse, he or she will have developed some kind of reactions or coping mechanism. If you stop disrespectful behavior, he or she won’t use their coping mechanism. And their reaction to you will change.
The simplest to saving your marriage is to take a frank look you own behavior and access how you can change it. How you communicate with your spouse, what habits you have that cause arguments.
Spent some time looking at your relationship, figure out which parts work, which parts don’t. Take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your perfect relationship. What would it look like? How would you and your partner interact?
Next, try creating a plan how you might get from point A (Your current reality) to point B (that perfect day). Write it down if you need to, it can be something you review to remind yourself what you are working towards. To avoid overwhelmed, break down the issues into doable steps, and begin tacking them one at a time. By doing this you will be able to take the initial steps in turning you attitude, your spouse’s reaction, your marriage, around.
TIP 2: Accept the situation
The second advice for how to fix a broken marriage is accept the marriage problem situation you are facing. It’s perfectly normal to have a hard time accepting that your spouse feels the way they do. And the common reaction is trying to convice them that things can become better. However, this is actually the worst thing you can do in your situation. As tempting as it may be, crying and begging for your spouse to give your marriage another chance will not change their mind. Since your spouse already past the point of believing that change is possible, your desperation will have no impact on them. Instead, these type of reactions will make you appear weak and out of control. So if you do want to save your marriage you won’t get there through pity, cruel words, or dramatic actions. It is okay for your spouse to know that you are upset about your marriage problem or situation, but it is more important for them to know that you have control of your feelings. To save your marriage, you need to accept the situation and acknowledge that you played a role in creating your marital problems.
TIP 3: Building resilience
Once you have overcome the initial shock and accept the situation at hand, to fix the falling marriage, you then need to create a step by step plan to save you marriage. Start by building strategies to take care of yourself and find a way to main positive outlook. If you can do this, then you can eliminate the one thing you don’t want to do (give your spouse reasons to leave you). Focus on staying positive, maintaining your dignity, taking care of yourself emotionally, physically and mentally. Everyone has a different way of doing it, but find what works for you and manage your emotions. Click here if you are interested in learning more about managing your emotion and save the marriage problems you are facing.
TIP 4: Commit to change
You know that popular saying “Be the change you want to see…”. That’s what you exactly need to do to save your marriage. Start by looking closely at your behavior in your marriage relationship. Ask yourself in which ways you can change to create positive response from your spouse, and what behavioral habits your spouse reacts negative to. Whether you know it or not,, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus – “a response pattern.” What you do and say is the stimulus. Your partner’s reaction is the response. And then you react to their response and so on. The same thing occurs when your spouse does or says something. Over time, the two of you have developed a pattern of habitual actions and reactions. When the stimulus changes, the response will also change. So this means changing your behavior will impact your partner’s reaction, and overall will change the entire relationship. For example, if you have developed a habit of speaking disrespectfully to your spouse, they will also have developed a kind of reaction or coping mechanism. If you stop acting disrespectfully, then your partner won’t need to use their coping mechanism. And if this happens enough, a new pattern of behaviors will emerge. Assuming the actions and reactions are positive, the relationship will take a turn for the best. Once you create positive interactions with one another, you can begin working on resolving your marital issues and marriage problems.
TIP 5: Give yourself some “You time”
How to fix your broken marriage relationship? The next tip is to give yourself more own space and time.
While marriage is about giving, don’t make the mistake of giving too much. To have a good marriage, you need to be “good you “, but what exactly that means? It means that you need to learn how to prioritize and put boundaries around activities that keep you healthy and whole. Activities like rest, relaxation, fitness and time with friends. In other words, remember scheduling ‘me time’ into your day is not selfish. It’s a necessity. It will strengthen your relationship because you’ll have a saner version of ‘you’ to bring to the ‘us’ equation.
There are a few phrases that can send the mind into crisis mode, and “I need space” is one of them. Whether it is you or your spouse hearing this, it’s natural to begin questioning if you’ve been crowding them too much or it is code to “I want out”. However, needing space doesn’t to be a bad thing. By allowing you and your partner to each other have some time for yourselves it will not only give you both chance to cool down, reset or eased, but it will also help put your marriage and any issues you are facing into perspective. Sometimes a little time apart may be the key to dissolving you marital tension or marriage problems.
TIP 6: Dedicate yourself to the task
You and your partner are the only two people who really know what’s going on in your relationship. You also know what the biggest problems are for you personally, and you know the changes that you need to be made to save your marriage. Determine where your biggest issue lies so you can dedicate yourself to resolving these matters. Remember that initially, you will be doing all the work. It may not seem fair, but you are the one who believes in you marriage and want to save it. It won’t be easy, and sometimes your progress may slip, but if you do dedicate yourself to the task, you’ll eventually start to have small successes and it will get easier. Once you make some change, your spouse will begin to engage and will become more willing to assist with reviving your marriage.
TIP 7: Resolve the money madness
Then, it is all about money in a marriage relationship.
Money is one of the biggest sources of marital conflict and it can be one of the toughest to resolve. It is something that couples worry and argue about constantly. Disagreements over money can stem from many sources. If one partner earns considerable more than the other, resentment can build as a result of the greater earner “policing” expenditures or the lesser felling guilty for spending or bitter about the unequal income. Money can be used and abused for power in a relationship. It can also be a proxy for other points of disagreements and unhappiness in the marriage. Money isn’t just dollars and cents in a marriage, it can also represent control, self-worth, or freedom. It can be used as a reword or a punishment.
Different objectives or attitudes towards spending can cause significant strife. If you and your spouse are starting to hound each other over dollars and cents, then it’s time to have a chat. It is important for couples to make active plan about how they will marriage their money. Combine it? Separate it? Whatever the plan is , both have to be part of the decision to do it and then figure out what need to be done to keep the system running smoothly.
The only thing you have to be careful about here is not letting the “money talk” turn into a screaming match. Keep things civilized and if the discussion begins to get heated, shut things down and revisit it another day.
Here is a free report covers more detail about marriage advice and how to fix a broken marriage, you can download it here: